50 years is a long time. My parents have been married for 50 years.
I watched them fight. I watched them hug and kiss and hold each other. I watched them create magic together. I watched them go through hell and come out the other side.
Some of what I’ve learned from Mom and Dad and their relationship:
Love is a choice. Put intention on practicing love even, or especially when it’s not easy.
Be kind and gentle with each other.
We see things differently and love is willing to be open to another perspective.
Don’t wait for your partner to apologize. Holding onto anger or trying to harden your heart won’t help you feel better, EVER. Apologize and forgive.
Feeling anger, frustration, even dislike for your partner is okay. Love them anyway. Soften your heart and work it out.
Radical honesty is healing and refreshing, even when it hurts. Secrets are powerful prisons of suffering for everyone.
Look at your judgments to see your own wounds that are calling for healing. Don’t be afraid of the mirror your partner holds. There’s beauty in there.
You don’t have to do this alone. Talk to family and friends when you are struggling. Get counseling, join couples groups, get support. Lean on your community and be there for others.
Forgive, forgive, forgive, and forgive again. This is how you can move on.
Tell each other of your love, your gratitude, your respect, your adoration of each other. Prop each other up to face the world. Be of service to your partner’s desire to be who they want to be.
